You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
