Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
