I'm lost and stupid without you.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
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