Your tits are I can't wait for
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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