oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
