batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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