I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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