Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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