I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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