Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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