It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
you will always have a special place in my vag
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
