There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
