Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
