is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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