i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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