captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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