My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
