i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
