its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
