the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
