At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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