Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
