I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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