Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The Olympian is in my bed
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
