At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
