His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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