the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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