I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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