even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
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What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
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And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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