why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.