Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.

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  (917): Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard. http://tfl.nu/xsvt
  Replies (23) Good night (2888) Bad night (844)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine

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  (617): i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine http://tfl.nu/ryw8
  Replies (33) Good night (833) Bad night (3560)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.

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  (262): I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends. http://tfl.nu/1qj3
  Replies (39) Good night (1686) Bad night (4102)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.

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  (765): She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it. http://tfl.nu/h4q6
  Replies (22) Good night (6232) Bad night (1159)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes

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  (860): all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes http://tfl.nu/55qw
  Replies (22) Good night (2309) Bad night (4454)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy

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  (845): The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy http://tfl.nu/dldv
  Replies (46) Good night (1162) Bad night (5452)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.

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  (517): i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go. http://tfl.nu/u5fo
  Replies (13) Good night (2756) Bad night (1094)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning

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  (215): he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning http://tfl.nu/kfu4
  Replies (4) Good night (977) Bad night (2597)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME

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  (+61): woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME http://tfl.nu/6fbk
  Replies (15) Good night (6371) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.

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  (952): Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me. http://tfl.nu/t30r
  Replies (10) Good night (1911) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks

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  (918): All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks http://tfl.nu/j9e3
  Replies (13) Good night (2102) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.

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  (619): Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates. http://tfl.nu/i6q4
  Replies (4) Good night (1761) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.

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  (218): My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery. http://tfl.nu/81gc
  Replies (8) Good night (1243) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.

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  (312): Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown. http://tfl.nu/cr3i
  Replies (1) Good night (863) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt

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  (262): Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt http://tfl.nu/h0wg
  Replies (0) Good night (318) Bad night (383)

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