Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"

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(301): View more from Maryland

There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself

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(516): View more from New York

i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes

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(256): View more from Alabama

He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(917): View more from New York City

I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.

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(727): View more from Florida

And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.

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(831): View more from California

I won't be able to get a boner for a month

(916): View more from California

Challenge accepted.

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(312): View more from Illinois

Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.

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