Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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