did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
