Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
