What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
