You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize