I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
