She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
