I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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