Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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