i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
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I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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