i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The best revenge is premature balding
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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