Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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