Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
