i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
