I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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