I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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