I wanna bring you to show and tell
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I will pee on everything he values.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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