Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
