It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
