I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
