If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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