is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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