what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My breasts were aching with rage.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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