My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
if only i could text you this smell
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
