so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
