Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
