The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
