Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
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