what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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