You can't motorboat a personality
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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