Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
