Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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