whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
