Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
