He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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